Bring My Flowers Now

I struck up a conversation with a woman standing with the expectant crowd in front of the stage as we waited on Tanya Tucker to perform.  Among the chit chat we exchanged, the subject of past concerts came up. I told her one reason I was down front like this was in solidarity with my …

Dying to Live

I lived more years with her than without.  There was a time I didn’t have her in my life.  Now I’m back to where I started. Marriage is a process of dying to self.  It won’t work if both partners are not willing to set aside certain personal preferences and predispositions for the sake of …

Keep Setting The Table

I opened my home to friends last night. It felt good to cook again. It felt even better to set the table. She left her earth suit on the rented hospital bed in the side bedroom four months ago today, shedding it for something new and more fitting and suitable to her true nature.  I …

Love is Watching Someone Die

One of my many cherished memories with my family when my kids were young is traveling together.  We visited England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales on two different occasions. In dad form, I forced everyone to simplify and reduce all possessions to three items; Coat. Backpack. Suitcase.  Any time we left a hotel or train, the …

Desire or Demand

Grief is such an illogical expression.  Thoughts, feelings and experiences don’t always make sense, but that doesn’t make them any less important to understand. That’s why I’ve chosen not to approach my grief from a rational mindset.  The heart knows reasons that reason doesn’t know. A contrarian thought that I’m currently exploring is to not …

Learning to Want What I Can’t Have

There was no greater source of anticipation for me as a child than the days leading up to Christmas.  I eagerly awaited the arrival of the Sears Wish Book and JC Penney Christmas catalogs that were delivered in the mail.  These publications provided hours of daydreaming to me as a young lad. But one year, …

Seen and Heard

Last night I got to step in to avert a near fistfight between two women in front of me after the Tanya Tucker show I attended. They were literally nose to nose and the stare-down quickly escalated into a shoving match. I’ve seen that look before. It’s not pretty. I saw what had happened to …

Now and Then

Yesterday felt like a scene with Inspector Clouseau and Cato lifted right out of a Pink Panther movie. I got blindsided. Grief leaped out of the closet and we went round and round all day. The set up was Turbo Tax. It wasn’t the process of doing my taxes that did it.  My finances are …